Saturday, April 26, 2008

The History of 'APRONS'

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect
the dress underneath, but along with that, it served
as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on
occasion was even us ed for cleaning out dirty ears .
From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying
eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to
be finished in the warming oven.
When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding
places for shy kids.
And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it
around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow,
bent over the hot wood stove.
Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen
in that apron.
From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables.
After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the
hulls.
In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples
that had fallen from the trees.
When unexpected company drove up the road, it was
surprising how much furniture that old apron could
dust in a matter of seconds.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the
porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time
to come in from the fields to dinner.
It will be a long time before someone invents
something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that
served so many purposes.

REMEMBER:
Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the
window sill to cool - Her granddaughters set theirs on
the window sill to thaw.

They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many
germs was on that apron. I don't think I ever caught
anything from an Apron.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Easter


Easter Sunday is a sacred Christian celebration. It is a time that followers rejoice Jesus for his life and resurrection. According to scripture, it is believed that Jesus was crucified, buried and on the third day he rose from the dead.

This miracle confirmed His holiness and took away original sin for all believers, thus allowing all to enjoy eternal life. Ever since, the Christian faith flourished and Easter was designated as the most important Christian holy day.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says:

"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says.

"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"No way they're getting divorced, I'll take care of this!!!"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

"Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way ."

Short and Funny

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."

-------------------------------------------------

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

-------------------------------------------------

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.

-------------------------------------------------

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

-------------------------------------------------

Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.

-------------------------------------------------

The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.

-------------------------------------------------

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.

-------------------------------------------------

I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

-------------------------------------------------

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

-------------------------------------------------

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Who is Jesus?



Who is Jesus?
HE IS JESUS
WHO IS HE?
IN CHEMISTRY, HE TURNED WATER TO WINE.

IN BIOLOGY, HE WAS BORN WITHOUT THE
NORMAL CONCEPTION;

IN PHYSICS, HE DISAPPROVED THE LAW OF
GRAVITY WHEN HE ASCENDED INTO HEAVEN;

IN ECONOMICS, HE DISAPPROVED THE LAW
OF DIMINISHING RETURN BY FEEDING 5000 MEN WITH
TWO FISHES & 5 LOAVES OF BREAD;

I N MEDICINE, HE CURED THE SICK AND THE
BLIND WITHOUT ADMINISTERING A SINGLE DOSE OF DRUGS,

IN HISTORY, HE IS THE
BEGINNING AND THE END;

IN GOVERNMENT, HE SAID THAT HE SHALL
BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE;
IN RELIGION, HE SAID NO ONE COMES TO
THE FATHER EX CEPT THROUGH HIM;
SO. WHO IS HE?
HE IS JESUS!
JOIN ME AND LET'S CELEBRATE HIM; HE IS
WORTHY.
THE EYES BEHOLDING THIS MESSAGE SHALL
NOT BEHOLD EVIL, THE HAND THAT WILL
SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYBODY SHALL
NOT LABOR IN VAIN, AND THE MOUTH SAYING AMEN TO THIS PRAYER SHALL SMILE FOREVER.
REMAIN IN GOD AND SEEK HIS FACE ALWAYS.
AMEN
IN GOD I'VE FOUND EVERYTHING!
The Greatest Man in History
Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.
Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.
Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.
He had no army, yet kings feared Him..
He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.
I feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us!
If you believe in God and in Jesus
Christ His Son .. send this to all on
your buddy list . if not just ignore it.
If you ignore it, just remember that
Jesus said ..
'If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven

Waiting for Christmas



A cute Christmas Story

It was the day AFTER Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene, when he noticed that the baby Jesus figure was missing from the cradle. He immediately turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon walking down the street. And in the wagon, was the figure of the infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, "Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that's in your wagon?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

And why did you take him?" asked the pastor.

The little boy replied, "Well, about a week before Christmas, I prayed and I told Jesus if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride in it!"

NOW THAT IS PRECIOUS!!!!

God is the biggest help in the World.



Love Cross

Peace and Blessings...


Peace and Blessings...

This is a brief Interview with God.



Please visit this Interview with God.



Saturday, April 19, 2008

An Officer's Life.......

You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding.
He just worked an accident where people died because they were going too fast.

You wonder why that cop was so mean.
He just completed working a case where a drunk driver killed a kid.

You work for 8 hours.
He works for up to 18 hours.

You drink hot coffee to stay awake.
The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.

You drink your coffee on your way to the mall.
He spills his as he runs code to a traffic crash with kids trapped inside.

You make sure your cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house.
He makes sure his guns are clean and fully loaded and his vest is tight.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He watches his buddy get shot at, and wounded in front of him.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.

You complain about how hot it is.
He wears fifty pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in the middle of July and still runs around chasing crack heads.

You go out to lunch and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.

You complain about the little dog next door keeping you awake.
He's facing 2 angry pit bulls that want to eat him alive while the owner is cursing him.

You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready.
He gets called out of bed at 2 am after working 12 hours and has to be into work ASAP for a traffic homicide.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He holds the hair of some college girl while she is puking in the back of his patrol car.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
His shift ended 4 hours ago and theres no end in sight.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He can't make any plans because on his off days he still gets called back into work.

You yell and scream at the squad car that just passed you because they slowed you down.
He's in the driver seat of the squad car going to cut somebody out of their car only to find out they are dead when he gets there.

You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public.
He picks up a dead child in his arms and prays that it will cry.

You criticize your police dept and say they're never there quick enough.
He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone and doing their makeup.

You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better.
He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt and loses his life doing it.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He would take a bullet for his buddy without question.

You sit there and judge him saying that it's a waste of money to have them around.
Yet as soon as you need help you're the first to call him.

If you support your local police officers, repost this with a "An Officer's life"
If you don't support your police officers, well, then don't repost, it's not like you care any way...
Also, shout out to the men and women of the Fire Departments, EMS,
Dispatchers and Animal Contol as well, because without all these divisions, public safety wouldn't be available!!!!
Thank you to everyone involved, and each and everyday may everyone in their career come home safely....

You Took My Parking Space at Church

One day, a man went to visit a church, He got there early, parked his
car and got out. Another car pulled up near the driver got out and said,
' I always park there! You took my place!' The visitor went inside for
Sunday School, found an empty seat and sat down. A young lady from the
church approached him and stated, 'That's my seat! You took my place!'
The visitor was somewhat distressed by this rude welcome, but said
nothing.

After Sunday School, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down.
Another member walked up to him and said, ' That's where I always sit!
You took my place!' The visitor was even more troubled by this
treatment, but still He said nothing. Later as the congregation was
praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up, and his
appearance began to change. Horrible scars became visible on his hands
and on his sandaled feet. Someone from the congregation noticed him and
called out, 'What happened to you?' The visitor replied, as his hat
became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, 'I took your
place.'

Our Wish for You in 2008

Our Wish for You in 2008


May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words ............

May 2008 be the best year of your life!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Paintings of Christ - 2

Paintings of Christ - 2






Paintings of Christ - 1

Paintings of Christ - 1






Who is Jesus?

Who is Jesus?

HE IS JESUS

WHO IS HE?

IN CHEMISTRY, HE TURNED WATER TO WINE..

IN BIOLOGY, HE WAS BORN WITHOUT THE NORMAL CONCEPTION;

IN PHYSICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW OF

GRAVITY WHEN HE ASCENDED INTO HEAVEN;

IN ECONOMICS, HE DISPROVED THE LAW

OF DIMINISHING RETURN BY FEEDING 5000 MEN WITH TWO FISHES & 5 LOAVES OF BREAD;

IN MEDICINE, HE CURED THE SICK AND THE

BLIND WITHOUT ADMINISTERING A SINGLE DOSE OF DRUGS,

IN HISTORY, HE IS THE

BEGINNING AND THE END;

IN GOVERNMENT, HE SAID THAT HE SHALL

BE CALLED WONDERFUL COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE;

IN RELIGION, HE SAID NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH HIM;

SO. WHO IS HE?

HE IS JESUS!

JOIN ME AND LET'S CELEBRATE HIM;

HE IS WORTHY.

THE EYES BEHOLDING THIS MESSAGE SHALL

NOT BEHOLD EVIL, THE HAND THAT WILL

SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYBODY SHALL

NOT LABOR IN VAIN, AND THE MOUTH SAYING AMEN TO THIS PRAYER SHALL SMILE FOREVER.

REMAIN IN GOD AND SEEK HIS FACE ALWAYS.

AMEN

IN GOD I'VE FOUND EVERYTHING!

The Greatest Man in History

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

Had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher..

Had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.

He had no army, yet kings feared Hi m..

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

I feel honored to serve such a Leader who loves us!

If you believe in God and in Jesus

Christ His Son .. send this to all on

your buddy list..

If not just ignore it.

If you ignore it, just remember that

Jesus said .

'If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Slow Dance

This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do you run through each day

On the fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call and say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry
through your day,

It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

Rick Warren's Remarks

Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE "PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE")

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren,

"Purpose Driven Life " author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hi lls and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,"which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been v ery difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped t aking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult mo ments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Natural Highs

Natural Highs

Please make sure you forward this back to me . . . You'll see why at the end. Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially #45.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanil la or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time wit h old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morni ng and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

The Atheist and the Bear

An Atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Hand of God

The Hand of God



More Humor

Ain't it the Truth!!!
A woman goes to the doctor for her yearly physical. The nurse starts
with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"115," she says.
The nurse puts her on the scale.
It turns out
her weight is 140.

The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"5 foot 8," she says.
The nurse checks and sees that she only measures 5' 5".


She then takes her blood pressure
And tells the woman it is
very high.
"Of course it's high!" she screams,
"When I came in here
I was tall and slender!
Now I'm short and fat!"

New book for children’s self-esteem

New book for children’s self-esteem

Patrick and Sharlena Tabor have released a new Christian book for children to help them cope with low self esteem.

Quoted:
Husband and wife team, Patrick and Sharlena Tabor, have developed a heart for parents who struggle with the many issues involved with maintaining a strong and loving family environment. Current issues in society create a struggle for parents to be effective teachers and role models for their children. Parents need a fighting chance against the influences that draw our children into situations that they cannot handle. We believe people have the freedom to change a cycle of poor decisions, disobedience and ignorance. Although this maybe attributed to a lack of knowledge, we can gain knowledge to modify our beliefs and behaviors. We believe this book will help provide some of the knowledge needed to live a full and free life!

Read full story


Learn more about the book

Friday, April 11, 2008

Letter from God

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced.
I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a kind soul
working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.


Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize

her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday
and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy
that you let me have her as my do! g even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and
to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her
You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith.


We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope

because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, "To Meredith" in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, "When a Pet Dies." Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick ! anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays
In your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our
bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in,

so you keep this picture so you will d
have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for
helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother
you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I am wherever there is love.
Love, God

Ahhh--Sweet revenge!!!

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

TO MEET SUCH A MAN

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day. As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, 'I will work for food.' My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the
strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: 'Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square.'

Then with some hesitancy, I headed back into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.

I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

'Looking for the pastor?' I asked.

'Not really,' he replied, 'just resting.'

'Have you eaten today?'

'Oh, I ate something early this morning.'

'Would you like to have lunch with me?'

'Do you have some work I could do for you?'

'No work,' I replied. 'I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch.'

'Sure,' he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?'

'St. Louis .'

'Where you from?'

'Oh, all over; mostly Florida '

'How long you been walking?'

'Fourteen years,' came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier.His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, 'Jesus is The Never Ending Story.'


Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while
backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought.

He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly.
He gave his life over to God.
'Nothing's been the same since,' he said,
'I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some
14 years now.'

'Ever think of stopping?' I asked.

'Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me but God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles. That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads.'

I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless.
He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: 'What's it like?'

'What?'

'To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?'

'Oh, it was humiliating at first.
People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me.'

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, 'Come Ye blessed of my Father and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you.

For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in.' I felt as if we were on holy ground.
'Could you use another Bible?' I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. 'I've read through it 14 times,' he said.

'I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see. 'I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

'Where are you headed from here?' I asked.
'Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon.'
'Are you hoping to hire on there for a while?'
'No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next.'

He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.

'Would you sign my autograph book?' he asked. 'I like to keep messages from folks I meet.'

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, 'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope.'
'Thanks, man,' he said. 'I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you.'

'I know,' I said, 'I love you, too.'
'The Lord is good!'

'Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?' I asked.

'A long time,' he replied

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, 'See you in the New Jerusalem.'

'I'll be there!' was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, 'When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

'You bet,' I shouted back, 'God bless.'

'God bless.' And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work
gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle. I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them.

Then I remembered his words: 'If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend
and to pray for his ministry. 'See you in the New Jerusalem,' he said. Yes,
Daniel, I know I will...

Little Boy

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold.

The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, 'Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?

You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight.

Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.'

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, 'You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say
John 3:16, and they will let you in.'

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said, 'John 3:16.' The lady said, 'Come on in, Son.'

She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16 ...I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him 'Are you hungry ? ' He said, 'Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days, and I guess I could stand a little bit of food,'

The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16 ...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16 .
I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out. The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night,
he thought to himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible.

She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. 'Do you understand John 3:16 ?' she asked gently. He replied, 'No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it,' She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing. I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should
not perish, but have everlasting life.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

In your favor

I really do believe he will..................

The power of one sentence!

God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor.

To my darling husband

o my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you
know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I
turned into the driveway.

Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart and when I turned into the driveway
I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.
I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife. XXX


P.S. Your girlfriend called.

Nominated for best joke of the year

This was nominated for best joke of the year - worth sharing.

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United
States.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country , giving me
housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The
passerby says, "You > are mistaken, I am Mexican."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. " Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in America !" The

person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderf ul America!" That
person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not
American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?" She says ,
"No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the
Americans?"

The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work!!!!!!

GOD is Busy

GOD is Busy

If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!!
A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the heck is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So, He sent me."

I'll bet this was a surprise to NBC - NBC Poll

I'll bet this was a surprise to NBC - NBC Poll


Do you believe that the word God should stay in American culture?

NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest Number of responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the Percentage was the same as this:


86% to keep
the words, IN God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance
14% against


That is a pretty 'commanding' public response.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Funny Story 1

Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured Ellen.

"Come on, Ellen, let's just go..."

But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll take the tissue." She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Dillard's bag and cover it.

They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the TEXAS sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria. After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table, they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long! As they ate, they noticed a black-haired woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car, look quickly this way and that, and then hook the Dillard's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.

It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally sputtered Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze,

Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired woman with THE Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After clearing the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 91 1, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver. A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.

In a matter of minutes the curly-haired woman emerged from the crowd, still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared behind the ambulance doors, the Dillard's bag perched on her stomach!!

Sometimes, God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND once in awhile, He allows us to witness it.)

3 Trees

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."

Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take Kings and Queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.

Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a Carpenter, "and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree. I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one," and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fish-ing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and Said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God will give you great gifts.

Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His Ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

May your day be blessed. And until we meet again, may God cradle you in the palm of His hand.

"Sorrow looks back... Worry looks around... Faith looks up..."