Don't Mess with Old Men

Don't Mess with Old Men.

A better title may be, Don't mess with the wise man.

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough."Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back. "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.

Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right young man, get in."

Rules To Consider

Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)

For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

Judgement

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.

Tired Old Dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard, I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head, he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar. I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar. He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 & he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?

How it is in Texas

So this Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Texas ranch and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation.

The old rancher says, Okay, but don't go in that field over there.

The Water representative says, Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the Water Rep running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. The bull is gaining with every step.

The Rep is clearly terrified, so the old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

Your card! Show him your card!"