Open Bible Effect

This makes me want to leave a Bible laying open in my house all the time!  Ruth Graham did.

 

Did you know that when you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache; when you open it, he collapses; when he sees you reading it, he loses his strength; AND when you stand on the Word of God, Satan can't hurt you?

 

 

Be Sure to Give

Careful who you give it too.

AS YOU OPEN YOUR POCKET BOOKS THIS YEAR.......

As you open your pockets for the next natural disaster, please keep these facts in mind:

The American Red Cross President and CEO Marsha J. Evans salary for the year was $651,957 plus expenses

The United Way President Brian Gallagher receives a $375,000 base salary along with numerous expense benefits

UNICEF CEO Caryl M. Stern receives $1,200,000 per year (100k per month) plus all expenses including a ROLLS ROYCE Less than 5 cents of your donated dollar goes to the cause

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization. 96 percent of donated dollars go to the cause.

The American Legion National Commander receives a $0.00 zero salary.  Your donations go to help Veterans and their families and youth!

THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS
BAND AIDS
ROLL AIDS
WALKING AIDS
MEDICAL AIDS
GOVERNMENT AIDS
MOST OF ALL,
MONETARY AIDS TO THEIR KIDS!
Not forgetting HIV (Hair is Vanishing)

Neurological Test

1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests,

you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.

Your brain is great and you're far from having a close

relationship with Alzheimer.

Gotta love us seniors

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether

or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup

and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because

it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed

near the window?"

Inner Peace

If  you can start the day without caffeine,

If you  can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, 

If  you can resist complaining and  boring people with your troubles,

If  you can eat plain food every  day and be grateful for it,

If  you can understand when your loved  ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and  blame without resentment,

If  you can conquer tension  without  medical help,

If you can relax without  liquor,

If  you can sleep without the aid of  drugs,   

...Then  You Are  Probably  The  Family Dog! 

Cell Phone vs Bible

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
 
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
 
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
 
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
 
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
 
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
 
What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
 
What if we used it when we traveled?
 
What if we used it in case of emergency?
 
This is something to make you go..hmm..where is my Bible?
 
Oh, and one more thing.
 
Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
 
Makes you stop and think 'where are my priorities?  And no dropped calls!